What Next?

As my heart gets heavier and heavier, I feel compelled to write.  Lately, I have been contemplating my current situation.  I want to be in the center of God’s will.  I want that more than anything because I know that when I am focused on God; when He is #1 in my life; when I truly am seeking Him... then that is when I am in the center.  I am in the center of my God’s perfect will and that is where I can find all the fullness of joy.  This is what I want in my life: joy.  I want peace and a passion for life.  I desire to give myself to the work that God has planned out for my life.  God says that He knows all of our days.

Psalm 139:16 reminds me, “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

This gives me hope.  Hope that God is in control and He KNOWS my entire life.  And right now... I feel like it’s come to a fork in the road.  Whether that means that I need to completely change my course, or if that means I need to stop and wait for direction, I don’t know.  I guess that’s what God means when He says to trust Him.  Trust that He will guide us in the right direction in His perfect timing.

His perfect timing.

This is the question of my life—what is God’s timing?  When do we know when God says... “Okay, this is next”.  Is it some secret point in our lives that when God says “go” you better get your butt moving and go?!  I don’t think so... I’m slowly realizing that God WANTS us to know his timing.  He WANTS us to know His will and to seek Him and to KNOW that we are pleasing Him with our lives.  This is the epitome of His love for us—that He promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  That He will guide us, protect us, stick by our side, and have our backs even when no one else does.

I guess this is just my struggle right now. I want to know so badly that what I am doing in my life is pleasing to Him... and maybe that’s right where I need to be.

Maybe standing in the midst of not knowing my future and not knowing what’s next is where God’s perfect will resides.

Maybe not having everything figured out and living the perfect, cookie-cutter, American-standard way of life is how God wants me to live my life.

Maybe, JUST MAYBE... this is what He would want from all of us.

Do you have joy and passion in your life? What you spend the majority of your time doing... is it using the gifts that God has given you to glorify Him with?  Are you being all He created you to be?  And in return, are you finding peace and joy in those things?  Or is your life just a constant cat and mouse chase of making more money, getting a higher degree, or buying the nicest house or fanciest car and hoping that ONE DAY you’ll be able to say that you are “set” for life?  What does that even mean?!

Is your life spent constantly worrying about your future, trying to figure out every single step of the way, and not trusting that God has it all in His hands?

These are the things that have been on my heart. These are the things I know are my struggle.  So what if I don’t know my future?  So what if I don’t have the best job in the world or make the most money or drive the nicest car or even own a home?  What is home anyway?  Aren’t we supposed to make heaven our destination and this world just a temporary place where we can spread His name while honoring and glorifying Him in the midst of our circumstances?  Isn’t this world just a constant coming and going of life events that either make us or break us?  What is our purpose?  What is this life for anyway?

Having a great job?

Having a nice house?

Having a college degree?

Having a perfect family?

Being the healthiest, most active person?

Being perfectly in style and up-to-date with fashion?

Owning the newest smart phone and having all the apps humanly possible?

Looking like you have it all together?

And if these things are the reason for living... what fulfillment is found in them?

My heart has been so heavy lately because I see myself being pulled toward this world and frankly—this is NOT my home.  I am yearning for God to teach me to just TRUST.  Trust He has me.  Trust He will work things out.  Trust He has something absolutely amazing in store for my life... so much more than it is right now; so much more than I can think of or even imagine; a life that radically shows that He is God of all; a life that honors Him and fills me to the core of my being... and not forgetting to be thankful during this time of waiting.  He has my life and my heart and He will guide me and won’t let me mess everything up.  And He promises to do this in the lives of those who love Him... so that means you.  He will help you just like He is helping me through this journey.  I am just looking for His direction and waiting on His timing.

So, I guess the next question is—“Okay, God... what next?”

All Sons & Daughters - 'Called Me Higher'

Clean Eating

On my journey to taking care of myself, I dedicated a large portion of my time to reading more about how to live a healthy lifestyle.  This led me to understand more than I ever have about food.  I started learning about how terrible processed foods are for your body, and I have actually realized how horrible they make me feel.  Also, my lack of exercise had been contributing to some intense mood swings and a general feeling of being "down".  So... here are the things that I have learned and that I am trying to following and incorporate into my eating habits:

·         Eat 5-6 small meals every day (breakfast is the most important)

·         Eat every 3 hours

·         Always combine a lean protein with a complex carb at each meal

·         Drink. More. Water.

·         Plan & prep your meals; not planning = failed meals

·         Always avoid over-processed, refined foods

·         Avoid sugar-saturated juice, alcohol, and especially sodas

·         Depend on more fresh fruits and veggies for your nutrition:)

·         Portion control!

You obviously can’t eat 6 meals a day unless they are “smaller” than the huge, standard American three meals a day looks like. SO. This means smaller, more controlled meals every 3 hours that include a lean protein with a complex carb.

Lean Protein? –http://www.livestrong.com/article/276808-examples-of-lean-protein-foods/

Complex Carb? –http://www.livestrong.com/article/27398-list-complex-carbohydrates-foods/

Plan & Prep

Plan your meals for the week.  This helps when you have JUST gone grocery shopping and can prepare (prep) for the week.  Always, always wash and cut all your fruits and veggies right when you get home from grocery shopping and bake anything you need to (like amazing, healthy sweet (or purple) potatoes that should be a huge staple in your diet).  This helps you to not have to prepare each small meal during a busy work week.

Portion Control

5-6 small meals a day.  YES, eat more often! This is basically how our bodies ‘should’ be telling us how to eat... but society and a huge lack of portion control has made us all unaware of how terrible we are treating our bodies!  Here is the correct portion sizes you should be eating at each meal:

Yea… society def. isn’t following this… but should be!

Healthy Staples

Always try to get your food closest to it’s natural state as possible.  This means less processing and less loss of nutrients. Try to avoid white flours, sugars, etc.

• honey (my #1 go-to sweetener)
• agave nectar (found near peanut butter or in baking aisle)
• 100% pure maple syrup (not “pancake syrup”)
• truvia/stevia packets (natural sweeteners found in baking aisle)
• stevia drops (found in health food stores)
• brown rice
• quinoa
• chia seeds
• flax
• oats (quick or old fashioned)
• coconut oil (instead of butter or canola/vegetable/olive oils)
• almond milk
• bananas
• greek yogurt
• egg whites (usually use a whole egg and then extra egg whites to bump up protein in recipes)

Helpful Sites

http://www.picklee.com/2012/08/01/recipe-substitutions/

http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/our-free-meal-plans/

http://www.heandsheeatclean.com/2012/07/weekly-food-prep.html

http://www.heandsheeatclean.com/p/the-lifestyle.html

Examples of food prep

• hard boiled eggs
• sautéed zucchini and squash (I add tons of herbs to mine)
• steamed broccoli/grilled asparagus (or any veggies)
• baked sweet potatoes (super good for you!)
• a crock pot recipe/casserole recipe that will last you a while 
• whole coconut for the antioxidant water and grated flesh for recipes
• chicken breasts (plain or in a recipe)
• greek yogurt and frozen fruit in baggies for quick smoothies (add in fresh baby spinach leaves, honey, ground flax seeds/chia seeds, and almond milk)
• brown rice/quinoa/whole grain pasta
• baked spaghetti squash, ground turkey, and red sauce (for a super healthy spaghetti meal)
• cut up all of your fruits and veggies to snack on throughout the week

Me and my husband usually prep every two weeks (since we are on a budget and just have to make it last a while right now) and make a trip to the grocery store in between for fresh produce.

Typical day of eating in my life

Breakfast- Oats with whole milk, honey, 1/2 banana, chia seeds, and flax; OJ; coffee with homemade creamer

Mid-morning snack- greek yogurt, mandarin orange, green tea

Lunch- lean protein and complex carb. For example-- sweet potato, chicken, and zucchini. Or maybe just PB&J and hard boiled egg... and water every day at lunch.

Afternoon snack- whole wheat muffin and a banana

Post-workout—protein shake and maybe another muffin (sometimes I usually just eat dinner if we are going directly home from gym)

Dinner- Turkey meatloaf, asparagus, zucchini, and milk.

Dessert- greek yogurt, cottage cheese, almond/peanut butter, & granola on top (maybe.. I usually don’t want a meal after dinner unless we had a really tiring gym day) **note—do not eat this if you are not working out regularly.  This is high calorie and high fat, which I need because I sometimes have trouble eating enough throughout the day.

And that’s my day! I don’t eat perfectly each day and I know my downfall is not planning/prepping enough so I am working on that! I know planning a week’s worth of meals seems like a lot but if you just have a couple hours one day a week or so to do it, it’ll save time in the long run. But if not... just try planning one or two days at a time!

This way of eating has definitely made a difference in my energy and how I feel in general. A book that has helped me tremendously is The Eating Clean Diet (it says diet and fat loss, but it has good tips in general for just a healthy lifestyle): http://www.amazon.com/The-Eat-Clean-Diet-Recharged-Lasting/dp/1552100677/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360605805&sr=8-1&keywords=eat+clean

Also-- I can’t stress enough how imperative exercise is. Exercise strengthens your immune system and positively effects your emotional responses to everyday life.  Strength training is specifically important because it boosts your metabolism and continues to burn energy while you are resting (while your body is repairing itself, building muscle).  Don’t leave this part of healthy living out of your lifestyle!

I hope this information helps! For more recipes and tips, visit my Meal Plan board on Pinterest for inspiration: http://pinterest.com/stephotis/food-tips-meal-plans/
My Instagram feed also has a lot of my recipes I've personally made too: http://instagram.com/stephanieotis/

Take Captive Every Thought

 

Thoughts.  They can encourage us or tear us down.  They give life and death to our situations.  Thoughts are the fuel to the actions we make and can direct our lives in either a positive or negative way. 

Thought, as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary: the action or process of thinking... a serious consideration... reasoning POWER... a developed INTENTION or PLAN... the intellectual product or the organized VIEWS and PRINCIPLES of a period, place, group, or individual.  Seems to me that thoughts are pretty important in our lives and weigh heavily on our actions.

Numerous studies have shown that thoughts have a direct impact on our attitude, understanding, and our dealings with other people.  This is why it is so important to make sure we are aware of our thoughts and what we let run through our minds.  It’s the very reason that Paul heads to the church of Corinth to demolish LIES and false things that they might be led to believe.  Paul tells us to imprison our thoughts and to make them obedient to Christ, the light and TRUTH of the world.  So you choose—whether to believe lies or to believe the truth that sets us free.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. –2 Corinthians 10:5

To “take captive” implies that we make our thoughts prisoners.  They are not free to just roam our minds uncontrolled.  They are kept within the bounds of the truth of Christ... they need to be controlled and directed by His truth.

I found an awesome little list based off of Philippians 4:8 that can help us do so. It has helped me a lot recently to re-align my thoughts with God’s Word and to regain the peace and confidence that I need to make it through the day.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. –Philippians 4:8

1.       What is true? (What is true about you and your situation?)

2.       What is noble? (How can you handle this situation in a noble way?)

3.       What is right? (Is there a righteous response to this fear?)

4.       What is pure? (How can you respond in a way to keep your heart devoted to God?)

5.       What is lovely? (How can this fear be worked for good?)

6.       What is admirable? (Who has overcome a similar fear: how did they do it?)

7.       What is excellent and praiseworthy? (How can you respond in a way that keeps you from sin and brings praise and glory to God?)

“God often uses pain as a means of drawing our attention off ourselves and on to Him. It is a beautiful process for us to see this pain as a means of helping us refocus our attention on our Savior, who is our provider and source of strength... this is all a part of the sanctifying process. Jesus promises the peace that surpasses all understanding. This does not mean a perfect, pain-free [life], but rather the calmness to embrace God as your strength.” -Passionate Homemaking

And you know what God promises to those who fix their thoughts on Him? Perfect peace. That is what I want for me and for you; peace is what I yearn for.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you. --Isaiah 26:3

Cloudy Days

Today started out like my work days usually do—woke up way too late, threw my hair up in a bun, off to work in the dark. I am not a morning person whatsoever, yet this morning in particular I felt more energized than usual. Going to the gym and eating clean has helped me feel so good. I originally was going to write a blog post on the fact that I feel so much better, my moods have improved, etc... and then something happened.  Not sure what time it was, but my day just went all downhill.  I don’t know why I felt down or sad or annoyed, but I just did.  I just wanted to go home and sleep the day away.  This is not normal for me, at least not lately.  It’s so discouraging to feel this way, especially when I have been feeling so good lately.

I guess it’s just one of those days—one where it feels like everything is just hitting you in the face and no one else in the world understands. One of those days where it seems like a dark cloud is surrounding you and won’t leave you alone.  Maybe it’s just my attitude, or maybe it’s just the fact that I feel like my life isn’t really moving into a new direction as fast as I had hoped it would.

Maybe God is trying to teach me something in my pain and in my waiting. I hope so.  I know He has bigger plans for my life than I have for myself.  I know that what I am going through right now is only preparing me for something in my life that I cannot yet see.

Life sometimes can be hard; it can be full of disappointments and days that never end; full of heartache and frustrations.  This is when I just have to trust and know that the God of the universe has everything under control even when I feel like giving up on everything and everyone.

I just keep holding onto this truth: God will never leave me nor forsake me.  This is the truth that I am grasping onto in the midst of my circumstances.  This is the hope that I need during a day like today where I feel like I have nothing else to hold on to.

Nothing Left

Do you ever wonder if you have life figured out right?

Do you know if you think of life, it’s circumstances, and the people in it, in the way that you should?  I am looking through some blogs tonight and seeing others spending their life wandering around this beautiful world and writing about how amazing it is.  They write about how inspiring it is to see how other people live.  And my heart longs to do the same.  My hearts pulls towards leaving America, the land of the privileged and self-centered; the land that I call home; the beautiful land where I have come to love... and the land that has shaped who I am and how I think of this world.  Yet-- I am left wondering if I have it all wrong.  And I know at times that I do.

I want a life full of true joy and fulfillment.  Not in things, but in people and in relationships.

I want to be used.

I want to be used up completely before I leave this beautiful world.  I want to stand (or kneel) in front of my God and know that He is proud of me-- that He is proud that I took life’s opportunities and ran with them, spreading His love and truth to each and every corner of this earth.

I want to have nothing left.

I want to see the joy on children’s faces when they see that this little, blonde, American girl who can’t speak their language came so far to see them specifically.  I want to hold their hands and walk with them, all the while wondering why they trust me so easily and quickly.  I just want to sit next to them, and as they slowly scoot closer and closer to me, smile to myself as I feel, once in my life, right where I need to be.

I want to hug the women who have such joy and peace in their life even if they don’t have shoes on their feet.  I want to see their smiles-- their wrinkled, tired, faces that reflect the grace of God.  I don’t want to miss out on this wonderful life.  It’s too short, too beautiful, and too full of amazing people and opportunities to see God work in and through others.

For now, I will keep hoping for these things and that I can also be used right where I am.

**this picture is of a little boy, Elvie, I just fell completely in love with on my first mission trip to Guatemala. I went back to his town on my last trip and was heartbroken to find out that he had moved to Guatemala city... I can only pray that God would keep him safe there and grow up to be a wonderful man of integrity.

Lingering

Sitting here in my living room and my mind won’t stop going over the past year and how I have hurt a lot of people.  I think of the ways I could have handled these certain situations differently over and over again in my mind-- but I can’t change anything.  I can’t take back what I’ve done to others-- things I’ve said, things I’ve neglected to say.  

The hurt I’ve been through is used as a victimization excuse to extend that coldness to others.

I try not to mimic the people in my life that have let me down... I try to not be like those who have turned their backs on me... yet I have.  I have been those people and I have shown this coldness to some very dear people in my life.  If you are one of those people-- I am dearly sorry.  I am sorry that I let my hurt hurt you in return.  I wish I could wind back time and do it all over again.  I wish I could put myself in your shoes in that moment that I broke your heart to pieces and remind myself that I have felt that too.

And that brokenness lingers still.  But I can’t take back what’s been done.  I am deeply sorry and I don’t expect anything to change or anything in return.

Each time I have hurt someone else, it’s usually been because of my arrogance, pride, or just because I’m honestly hurt.  I have learned, and am still learning, to look at this life through the eyes of others.  To show others grace, kindness and a love that is indescribable and pierces through every relational circumstance.  I am still learning and still failing horribly at times.  My only hope is that God (and people) will have patience with me.

And here I am in my living room, sitting on my comfy couch with my sweet kitty at my feet and my mind is racing.

Marriage at my age

People have had a lot of opinions about me getting married in my early twenties.  They don’t seem to understand… they say we rushed or just give me a look like I was crazy to marry someone within a year and a half.  Without God, it isn’t going to make sense; I don’t expect it to.

God is the only reason why we got married.

It is all by Him and for Him and made possible through Him.  Marriage is a symbol.  A symbol of the deep, meaningful relationship of Christ and His Church.  The church (not the building, but the actual members of the body of Christ which makes up THE church of Jesus Christ) loves Jesus and we submit to Jesus and do what He would have us to do with our lives.  It is the same for wives and husbands.  Wives submit to a loving husband who would give up his life for her.  Christ died for us, and our husbands should love us in the same way.  Sacrifice on both sides is necessary… putting others before yourself is vital.  This is God’s will for us.  Age in and of itself is not a determining factor of marital success.

I read an article on relevantmagazine.com (a popular Christian-view on relevant things in culture right now) and there was an article that was talking about age and marital success.  It gave examples of studies that have been done on couples who married at very different ages and it concluded that the age was not a major factor in marital success.  Success has to do more with levels of commitment and personal maturity.  Now I’m sure you know of those older folks who act like they are 12 and then there are some young adults who have wisdom that far exceeds some older adults.  This is personal maturity.  The Relevant Article quotes: “there's certainly something to be said for going through those challenges with the person you love by your side. Having the mindset that everything in life has to be in order before getting married can mean missing out on the fact that marriage is often crucial in helping people mature.”

If God is in the center, your marriage will not be shaken.

On a personal note, I have had very different responses from people when they hear I am married. Today, I am younger than the average person to get married, yet back in the day couples would get married much younger. Age is such a huge factor today and I think it is focused in on too much and people raise their eyebrows at young married couples (with no legitimate reasons to back them up as to why they are judging others by their standards). The reason I got married was that I found a man who loves the Lord and he helps me with my faith and vice versa and to give glory to God through our marriage.


I’ve seen my parent’s marriage fail and his parent’s marriage succeed. My parents were older when they were married, his were younger. Age obviously, in this case, wasn’t the issue. God was the determining factor that his parent’s marriage has lasted. My parents did not have God in their marriage.  And no, I don’t think there are any solid guarantees to any decision we make because we are human.  We all make mistakes.  We all fail.  But God is our rock and our center.  Leaning on Him in all we do can heal anything—even a marriage.