Today started out like my work days usually do—woke up way too late, threw my hair up in a bun, off to work in the dark. I am not a morning person whatsoever, yet this morning in particular I felt more energized than usual. Going to the gym and eating clean has helped me feel so good. I originally was going to write a blog post on the fact that I feel so much better, my moods have improved, etc... and then something happened. Not sure what time it was, but my day just went all downhill. I don’t know why I felt down or sad or annoyed, but I just did. I just wanted to go home and sleep the day away. This is not normal for me, at least not lately. It’s so discouraging to feel this way, especially when I have been feeling so good lately.
I guess it’s just one of those days—one where it feels like everything is just hitting you in the face and no one else in the world understands. One of those days where it seems like a dark cloud is surrounding you and won’t leave you alone. Maybe it’s just my attitude, or maybe it’s just the fact that I feel like my life isn’t really moving into a new direction as fast as I had hoped it would.
Maybe God is trying to teach me something in my pain and in my waiting. I hope so. I know He has bigger plans for my life than I have for myself. I know that what I am going through right now is only preparing me for something in my life that I cannot yet see.
Life sometimes can be hard; it can be full of disappointments and days that never end; full of heartache and frustrations. This is when I just have to trust and know that the God of the universe has everything under control even when I feel like giving up on everything and everyone.
I just keep holding onto this truth: God will never leave me nor forsake me. This is the truth that I am grasping onto in the midst of my circumstances. This is the hope that I need during a day like today where I feel like I have nothing else to hold on to.
