Change of Direction

Sometimes God changes our course slowly, or rather abruptly.  For me, He did both, all at the same time.  He has given me a change of direction.

If you've been keeping up with me, you know that Peter and I were planning on going to a missionary training school in Australia. And if you know me, you know that I have at a pretty good, secure, decently-paying job. Yet-- all of this has changed in the past couple weeks.  I've prayed, sought advice, and have cried over these two things in my life.  One that has brought much joy and the other that has brought a lot of pain.  Then, I heard God quietly whispering to me...

'You can quit your job now.'

'You won't be going to Australia.'

.....What?! God, why now?! Why didn't you tell me this BEFORE I applied to YWAM in Australia? Why didn't I quit my job six months ago?!


The job prayer was answered slowly, and the Australia prayer was answered pretty quickly.  Still, I wrestled with these thoughts and with God.  Deep down inside though, I was relieved.  This was God answering my prayers of bringing me joy, peace, and provision.  After looking back on these decisions, I know that I had God's approval and His blessings on both of them.  And quite frankly-- that's all that matters.

Concerning Australia, maybe this just isn't God's timing.  We've decided that we are going (God-willing) to YWAM in Orlando, Florida instead.  I am truly excited to go to Florida, especially since we can come home for Christmas! After all, Australia would have been insanely expensive-- God's answers to our prayers (financially in this case) are quite simple sometimes, if only we would listen.

As for my job?  I thank God that I had it, and I thank Him that I am no longer there as well; it provided a way for me to pay off my school loans and to meet some pretty awesome people.  For a long time, I loved my job and I didn't mind the commute that much.  But then my heart started changing, and I started having an uneasy feeling in my soul, deep down that I just couldn't shake.  So, I had to make a change.

I hope I made an impact on each person there, I really do miss them already.  I hope they saw the light of Christ through me; I hope that I brought Jesus into their lives; I hope they turn their lives over to Him (and in some cases, to continue to fight the good faith and endure until the end, and I will see them all again)... but that's in God's hands, not mine.. and I'm at peace with that (to all the ladies there reading this-- I love you!)

My decisions caused concern for some people (especially since I was quitting my job and have no other job in sight lined up), but I have to remind myself of 1 Thessalonians 2:4 that says,

'But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak [and live our lives], not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.

I always seem to try to plan out my life, but God always comes along side of me and wrecks my life for the better. 

His answers caused a wrestling within my heart that caused both fear and undeniable joy.  I choose to fight for the joy and to abolish the fear in my heart-- and I encourage everyone reading this to do the same.  Don't live your life in fear, it is from the enemy who wages war against our souls.  God wants what is best for us, and He brings an all-consuming joy and rest for our souls.

Looking back on this past month, God has been nothing short of amazing. I can't express everything I'd like to that is on my heart in this post-- it would never end.  I just hope that God is being honored and glorified by my life and that people would see that I am not trusting in the comforts and security of this world.  It does not last.  The only things that last are those things that cannot be seen; the eternal.  This is why I live my life the way I do.

God bless you guys, and live your life to the fullest, in honor of the one true living God; we only have one chance to do so.

What Next?

As my heart gets heavier and heavier, I feel compelled to write.  Lately, I have been contemplating my current situation.  I want to be in the center of God’s will.  I want that more than anything because I know that when I am focused on God; when He is #1 in my life; when I truly am seeking Him... then that is when I am in the center.  I am in the center of my God’s perfect will and that is where I can find all the fullness of joy.  This is what I want in my life: joy.  I want peace and a passion for life.  I desire to give myself to the work that God has planned out for my life.  God says that He knows all of our days.

Psalm 139:16 reminds me, “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

This gives me hope.  Hope that God is in control and He KNOWS my entire life.  And right now... I feel like it’s come to a fork in the road.  Whether that means that I need to completely change my course, or if that means I need to stop and wait for direction, I don’t know.  I guess that’s what God means when He says to trust Him.  Trust that He will guide us in the right direction in His perfect timing.

His perfect timing.

This is the question of my life—what is God’s timing?  When do we know when God says... “Okay, this is next”.  Is it some secret point in our lives that when God says “go” you better get your butt moving and go?!  I don’t think so... I’m slowly realizing that God WANTS us to know his timing.  He WANTS us to know His will and to seek Him and to KNOW that we are pleasing Him with our lives.  This is the epitome of His love for us—that He promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  That He will guide us, protect us, stick by our side, and have our backs even when no one else does.

I guess this is just my struggle right now. I want to know so badly that what I am doing in my life is pleasing to Him... and maybe that’s right where I need to be.

Maybe standing in the midst of not knowing my future and not knowing what’s next is where God’s perfect will resides.

Maybe not having everything figured out and living the perfect, cookie-cutter, American-standard way of life is how God wants me to live my life.

Maybe, JUST MAYBE... this is what He would want from all of us.

Do you have joy and passion in your life? What you spend the majority of your time doing... is it using the gifts that God has given you to glorify Him with?  Are you being all He created you to be?  And in return, are you finding peace and joy in those things?  Or is your life just a constant cat and mouse chase of making more money, getting a higher degree, or buying the nicest house or fanciest car and hoping that ONE DAY you’ll be able to say that you are “set” for life?  What does that even mean?!

Is your life spent constantly worrying about your future, trying to figure out every single step of the way, and not trusting that God has it all in His hands?

These are the things that have been on my heart. These are the things I know are my struggle.  So what if I don’t know my future?  So what if I don’t have the best job in the world or make the most money or drive the nicest car or even own a home?  What is home anyway?  Aren’t we supposed to make heaven our destination and this world just a temporary place where we can spread His name while honoring and glorifying Him in the midst of our circumstances?  Isn’t this world just a constant coming and going of life events that either make us or break us?  What is our purpose?  What is this life for anyway?

Having a great job?

Having a nice house?

Having a college degree?

Having a perfect family?

Being the healthiest, most active person?

Being perfectly in style and up-to-date with fashion?

Owning the newest smart phone and having all the apps humanly possible?

Looking like you have it all together?

And if these things are the reason for living... what fulfillment is found in them?

My heart has been so heavy lately because I see myself being pulled toward this world and frankly—this is NOT my home.  I am yearning for God to teach me to just TRUST.  Trust He has me.  Trust He will work things out.  Trust He has something absolutely amazing in store for my life... so much more than it is right now; so much more than I can think of or even imagine; a life that radically shows that He is God of all; a life that honors Him and fills me to the core of my being... and not forgetting to be thankful during this time of waiting.  He has my life and my heart and He will guide me and won’t let me mess everything up.  And He promises to do this in the lives of those who love Him... so that means you.  He will help you just like He is helping me through this journey.  I am just looking for His direction and waiting on His timing.

So, I guess the next question is—“Okay, God... what next?”

All Sons & Daughters - 'Called Me Higher'

Take Captive Every Thought

 

Thoughts.  They can encourage us or tear us down.  They give life and death to our situations.  Thoughts are the fuel to the actions we make and can direct our lives in either a positive or negative way. 

Thought, as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary: the action or process of thinking... a serious consideration... reasoning POWER... a developed INTENTION or PLAN... the intellectual product or the organized VIEWS and PRINCIPLES of a period, place, group, or individual.  Seems to me that thoughts are pretty important in our lives and weigh heavily on our actions.

Numerous studies have shown that thoughts have a direct impact on our attitude, understanding, and our dealings with other people.  This is why it is so important to make sure we are aware of our thoughts and what we let run through our minds.  It’s the very reason that Paul heads to the church of Corinth to demolish LIES and false things that they might be led to believe.  Paul tells us to imprison our thoughts and to make them obedient to Christ, the light and TRUTH of the world.  So you choose—whether to believe lies or to believe the truth that sets us free.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. –2 Corinthians 10:5

To “take captive” implies that we make our thoughts prisoners.  They are not free to just roam our minds uncontrolled.  They are kept within the bounds of the truth of Christ... they need to be controlled and directed by His truth.

I found an awesome little list based off of Philippians 4:8 that can help us do so. It has helped me a lot recently to re-align my thoughts with God’s Word and to regain the peace and confidence that I need to make it through the day.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. –Philippians 4:8

1.       What is true? (What is true about you and your situation?)

2.       What is noble? (How can you handle this situation in a noble way?)

3.       What is right? (Is there a righteous response to this fear?)

4.       What is pure? (How can you respond in a way to keep your heart devoted to God?)

5.       What is lovely? (How can this fear be worked for good?)

6.       What is admirable? (Who has overcome a similar fear: how did they do it?)

7.       What is excellent and praiseworthy? (How can you respond in a way that keeps you from sin and brings praise and glory to God?)

“God often uses pain as a means of drawing our attention off ourselves and on to Him. It is a beautiful process for us to see this pain as a means of helping us refocus our attention on our Savior, who is our provider and source of strength... this is all a part of the sanctifying process. Jesus promises the peace that surpasses all understanding. This does not mean a perfect, pain-free [life], but rather the calmness to embrace God as your strength.” -Passionate Homemaking

And you know what God promises to those who fix their thoughts on Him? Perfect peace. That is what I want for me and for you; peace is what I yearn for.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you. --Isaiah 26:3