Thursday, April 4, 2013

What Next?


As my heart gets heavier and heavier, I feel compelled to write.  Lately, I have been contemplating my current situation.  I want to be in the center of God’s will.  I want that more than anything because I know that when I am focused on God; when He is #1 in my life; when I truly am seeking Him... then that is when I am in the center.  I am in the center of my God’s perfect will and that is where I can find all the fullness of joy.  This is what I want in my life: joy.  I want peace and a passion for life.  I desire to give myself to the work that God has planned out for my life.  God says that He knows all of our days.

Psalm 139:16 reminds me, “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

This gives me hope.  Hope that God is in control and He KNOWS my entire life.  And right now... I feel like it’s come to a fork in the road.  Whether that means that I need to completely change my course, or if that means I need to stop and wait for direction, I don’t know.  I guess that’s what God means when He says to trust Him.  Trust that He will guide us in the right direction in His perfect timing.

His perfect timing.

This is the question of my life—what is God’s timing?  When do we know when God says... “Okay, this is next”.  Is it some secret point in our lives that when God says “go” you better get your butt moving and go?!  I don’t think so... I’m slowly realizing that God WANTS us to know his timing.  He WANTS us to know His will and to seek Him and to KNOW that we are pleasing Him with our lives.  This is the epitome of His love for us—that He promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  That He will guide us, protect us, stick by our side, and have our backs even when no one else does.

I guess this is just my struggle right now. I want to know so badly that what I am doing in my life is pleasing to Him... and maybe that’s right where I need to be.

Maybe standing in the midst of not knowing my future and not knowing what’s next is where God’s perfect will resides.

Maybe not having everything figured out and living the perfect, cookie-cutter, American-standard way of life is how God wants me to live my life.
Maybe, JUST MAYBE... this is what He would want from all of us.
Do you have joy and passion in your life? What you spend the majority of your time doing... is it using the gifts that God has given you to glorify Him with?  Are you being all He created you to be?  And in return, are you finding peace and joy in those things?  Or is your life just a constant cat and mouse chase of making more money, getting a higher degree, or buying the nicest house or fanciest car and hoping that ONE DAY you’ll be able to say that you are “set” for life?  What does that even mean?!

Is your life spent constantly worrying about your future, trying to figure out every single step of the way, and not trusting that God has it all in His hands?

These are the things that have been on my heart. These are the things I know are my struggle.  So what if I don’t know my future?  So what if I don’t have the best job in the world or make the most money or drive the nicest car or even own a home?  What is home anyway?  Aren’t we supposed to make heaven our destination and this world just a temporary place where we can spread His name while honoring and glorifying Him in the midst of our circumstances?  Isn’t this world just a constant coming and going of life events that either make us or break us?  What is our purpose?  What is this life for anyway?
Having a great job?
Having a nice house?
Having a college degree?
Having a perfect family?
Being the healthiest, most active person?
Being perfectly in style and up-to-date with fashion?
Owning the newest smart phone and having all the apps humanly possible?
Looking like you have it all together?
And if these things are the reason for living... what fulfillment is found in them?
My heart has been so heavy lately because I see myself being pulled toward this world and frankly—this is NOT my home.  I am yearning for God to teach me to just TRUST.  Trust He has me.  Trust He will work things out.  Trust He has something absolutely amazing in store for my life... so much more than it is right now; so much more than I can think of or even imagine; a life that radically shows that He is God of all; a life that honors Him and fills me to the core of my being... and not forgetting to be thankful during this time of waiting.  He has my life and my heart and He will guide me and won’t let me mess everything up.  And He promises to do this in the lives of those who love Him... so that means you.  He will help you just like He is helping me through this journey.  I am just looking for His direction and waiting on His timing.

So, I guess the next question is—“Okay, God... what next?”

All Sons & Daughters - 'Called Me Higher'